Hung with a new rope or something like that, Dad would say...

There's just no making me happy. The other day I was longing for a quiet house...some time to myself...and today I had some of that. I also completely wasted it, doing the following:

Joelle decided to ride her bike to Paul Mitchell's to pay for her own hair cut. Instead of being happy that she is gaining independence and spending her own money and not mine, I worried, because she was gone so long...despite the fact that I know it takes a full 2 hours to get a haircut at Paul Mitchells.

Sabrina is at Camp. She's out of cell phone range. I don't, in fact, even know where she is, as I didn't drop her off. So instead of rejoicing that she didn't even look back as she drove off, and that she has made some truly lifetime friends here in Utah...the kind of friends that she'll sleep in a tent with for a couple of days and still like... I INSTEAD spent some really productive time worrying about her also.

And then there's Eric(in this sideways picture that I'm too lazy to rotate...)

He is out tonight, leading a presentation and a business project and eating dinner with vips... being awesome in general. But instead of being happy about this, and thankful that he has a job, and happy for him that he's actually beginning to do things at work that aren't 'boring', I kept thinking about all the things I needed from him to do and help me with.

Then I felt very lonely and realized that it isn't going to be all that far away when we have an empty house and I started wondering what on earth I was going to do with myself. I don't know yet. But I know that I really didn't enjoy that alone time that I was pining for the other day.

To everything there is a season. And instead of always wanting something I don't have at the moment...I should probably learn to appreciate what I have, when I have it!

Reality is, I am really slow on this blogging thing.

I am slowly learning how to mesh all of our technologies at home. Eric and I have 'traded jobs' on a few things, and I am slowly organizing our pictures and other things!

Which means everyone will have to put up with some behind the times blogging! And some stuff I will never recapture. Like the gigantic pile of dog hair that I brushed off the dogs this spring!

Good Friday, Miami Vice style

I checked out some music cds from the library--Billboard's top hits from 85. Miami Vice theme song was evidently in the top 10 that year. Miami Vice theme song made me think of my brother David, and THIS picture. He was the epitome of Miami Vice. What is interesting is I know these songs were before we were in Junior high--but I know them all. I guess having an older brother and sister around? I asked Eric though--he was in Jr. High by this point. In fact, I bet I have a Miami Vice picture of Eric too!!!

The girls and I have been listening to all these old songs. I've been enjoying, they've been laughing. Makes for a GOOD FRIDAY. My favorite day of the week.

And David, I miss you.

I'm going to go hang out on Electric Avenue now.

Mother's day and Lilacs.

Yesterday was a considerably different Mother's day for me. Typically, I see my MOM...and I get to spend lots of time with my girls...and I always, always tell them how glad I am to be their Mom.

Digression: I don't buy into the whole 'it's my special day, so treat me like a queen', crap. Being a Mom is a gift, I am honored and blessed to do it. Just don't make me cook. :)

Anyhow. Eric and Sabrina are in Colorado. It was originally a family trip, but poor Joelle is too sick for words...literally. The girl hasn't spoke since last Wednesday. Kind of praying about what to do on that one. It was good for Eric to see my Mom though--since his own mom is gone. And Grandma is loving the spoiling she gets to give Sabrina.

So Joelle and I hit the only Provo coffee shop I know of--Juice and Java. You Utah outsiders have to understand that to visit a coffee shop on a Sunday morning is...a really enjoyable act of rebellion for me, here. The only thing missing was my dog. I hope my dear neighbor is not reading this. ;)

Then I let Joelle drive through peacefully empty streets. Great time for her to practice. She drove to her new school. She drove me to an animal farm(not THE animal farm...). She drove into traffic cones and once didn't look over her shoulder and almost drove into a silver lexus. I made it a good 2 hours before a headache set in. She talks when she drives...and I love that.

Then we picked some purple lilacs--for some reason, the smell of lilacs and my mother are deeply bound together. The entire house smells like Mother's day.

All in all, a great day. I am blessed.

Ode to my Momma.

Truth be known, I'm a daddy's girl. Ask my Mom--she knows.

Mom grew up on the farm, one of the middle kids of 12. I'm not sure if the Lord made her a strong, practical woman on purpose...but I can't imagine she had much choice. I wish I had a picture of her as a girl--she's the cutest of those Yosten girls, as I'm sure my Dad would agree. Sweet and blond; a smile that still is that combination of clever and sweet and mischievous.

Though I am absolutely positive that my Mom was thrilled beyond belief the day I was born...I also know that in her heart, and even more so after 3 subsequent boys, that she believed I would be best served by a strong, practical Mother.

I remember as a girl,

I was expected to help Mom in the house. I don't think that she ever felt sorry for me--those times that I perceived my brothers running free, brown and naked as Indians...and her and I, butting heads, me not realizing that she was teaching me skills that I'd need later in life.

Though Mom? I have NEVER needed to kill and pluck my own chicken.

Mom never let me skip school when I 'didn't feel well'. She'd turn right around and pick me back up later in the day--but I was always expected to get up, get dressed and move on.

Mom made me get jobs. She expected me to ride my bike to those jobs. She also made me pay for half the bike.

Mom's method for dealing with most every pain and heartache was to 'move on with life'. To 'get to work'. Heck. Seemed to me like this always meant cleaning something!

My Mom's practicality--her determination that I would NOT be spoiled, that I would KNOW how to work, that I would be bright and love to learn didn't always feel like love to me.

I am sure my Mom never imagined the very hard experiences I'd face later in life. Though I'm sure she would have loved to 'fix' those experiences...they were my hardships to face.

Instead, she has always been the one by my side--the one whispering YOU CAN DO THIS. You can get through this. Try harder, Kore. Be brave Kore. Depend on God, Kore. If she cried or was afraid for me, she never showed it.

See--here's the real story. MY God, my good, good God gave me just the kind of Momma I would need.

A strong, practical Mom.

I love you Mom. Thanks for helping me become the woman I'm proud to be.

Big changes coming!

Well--it is still my New Year's resolution to write on our blog often and interestingly. Obviously, I tend to be a little ambitious in my resolutions. ;) I also really want to learn how to download and organize our pictures. (gasp)

As the sun is coming out (at 9am at my house. we live at the foot of a mountain...)more and more, I'm finding my hope and energy for life skyrocketing. I really love feeling like I am in my Father God's hand--right where He has placed me. I am really beginning to enjoy the relationships that are sprouting up in my life. I feel useful, needed, and fullfilled! Lots of feelings, eh?

Anyhow--big changes are headed to the Miller house. Joelle will be headed to Highschool at Merit next year. Merit is a small charter highschool in Springville. She has wanted to 'go to school' for awhile...and Eric and I think this is a great opportunity for her to learn educational independence. Sad to be losing my first student--but I am SO PROUD of her strong desire to grow up and be responsible for her education. I think she will really enjoy High school, but I will miss her!

Sabrina is ready for some changes, too. Her main desire was to bump up a grade. Since Bria was born a micropreemie at 2 lbs, and was essentially unable to see at all due to severe ambliopia until she was 5, we have always thought it best to keep her as one of the older kids in her class. This really began to cause social issues in the past year, and she was frustrated. She is so bright, and fully capable of the work. I also have learned a bit with Joelle that a move towards independence should be fostered rather than restricted, so Sabrina's well thought out desire to have more independence and bump up a grade was considered seriously. So she will begin ninth grade (rather than 8th) this fall using an online highschool called 'Open Highschool'. I am really thrilled about what I see from openhighschool--and think this will be a great fit for her next year. She will 'own' her education, but she gets to be at home (which she loves--the girl loves her sleep!) and I will be available to help....but I will no longer be picking curriculum or dictating what she does, when.

So in one week, I've become 'jobless'. lol. Eric and I are talking about what to do with my new 'bandwidth'. (I'll never have more time...but with the girls' education not MY focus, I'll have more mental energy to devote to...other thoughts!)

We haven't completely figured everything out--but we're tossing around some ideas.

We'll also be hosting two Chinese students at our house this summer--which should be a blast.

Sabrina will finish orthodontia in July--so that will be a huge relief from being required to drive 500 miles every 8 weeks. I'm glad we did it this way, but I'm even more glad to be DONE.

Happy Spring, everyone! Wish I had a picture to post...but that other New Year's resolution has not been dealt with yet!

I have a Taylor Swift song stuck in my head.

Oh, don't ever grow up, don'tcha ever grow up.

The girls are growing up, fast! There are many days that I am sad about it...but there are many more days that I am proud of who they are becoming.

Joelle is 'working' today...babysitting. One of the great perks of homeschooling! I asked her if I could make her a sandwich, and she said 'no'--she prefers to make her own.

Sabrina is off at her one-day-a week school. Saturday, she'll go to an all day science thing at the local college. I asked her if she wanted me or Dad to come along, and she said 'no way'.

So it is just me and 3 dogs and a house to clean today. Luckily, dogs don't ever grow up. ;)

He's HOME.

My beloved is home. Now, I am not supposed to be superstitious...but really, all of us SAHM's know that when the Man leaves is when rotten stuff at home happens.

Nothing really bad happened, and I survived. Having Eric on business trips makes me miss my Mom(really, everything makes me miss my mom lately. It's pathetic, lol), and spend better time with the girls. We watched Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, and went underwear shopping. And ate lots of snickerdoodles.

Honestly--it's not like there's anything here that Eric can do, that I can't, other than open spaghetti sauce jars...

But we are one, and he is my best friend, and when he's gone, part of me is gone.

Welcome home, man of the house!

Good Friday

Do you ever lay in bed early in the morning or late at night, and find your brain having the most wonderfully creative thoughts? I do, often. I rarely remember them during the productive part of my day, though! I could possibly create world peace, if only I'd remember to write.these.thoughts.down. Bria has the same creative habit, too. Though I think she'd prefer to figure out how to save to save all the lost ferrets of the world. lol.

Anyhow, my thoughts last night basically evolved to the idea that I really.need.to.blog. I'm not so sad anymore, and I'm ready to share our new life in Utah, such as it is, with friends and family.

Last night, I had figured out all of these great themes...and ideas to write about...but those thoughts, but one are gone now.

The one remaining thought? Good Friday. Growing up , I learned a deep appreciation for the Christian holy days.

And though, growing up, Good Friday was a day of deep mourning for the death of Christ...I feel compelled to have each and every Friday in my life be a day that I honor the good that has been given to me. A day to remember that I can STOP mourning...and I can begin to see that God is a good God, and IS good...to me. (if you don't know me well, you may think I'm being very egocentric at the moment. You should know that I honestly trend towards 'worm' more often than 'exalted saint',fyi.)

I went and looked up 'Good' in Strongs. See--I really struggle with the idea that God is a good God...and that he loves me and mine...and wants GOOD for us. I've had more than my fair share of hard times...and while God has always been faithful--so beyond faithful to me...sometimes I start to feel sorry for myself, and wonder if he really is a Good God. After finding and reading many, many verses about the Goodness of God, I have to conclude that he is both Good, AND good to me. There is no other way he can be--it is who.he.is. Which leaves me knowing that he is good, and also knowing that I have another area of faith to be growing in. ;)

Anyhow, I really digressed. Back to Good Friday.

Today's Good Friday award goes to...Joelle. Everyone mostly knows her as a pretty girl, somewhat quiet...definitely determined in nature.... I know her as FUNNY. The more mature she gets, the more intelligent her wit gets...and I just delight in that! Clever, clever girl. Despite the icky weather, that girl made me LAUGH today.

So on THIS Good Friday, I am blessed to be laughing, thanks to Joelle.